I feel like we are finally coming through the other side of a white squall--that really blustery confusing post-brand-new-newborn period, when you can't see a foot in front of you and everything is hazy and blurry. You wonder how, on such little amount of sleep, you will ever make it to the other side, how you will keep your wits about you, if you still have them at all.
These days I am finding that when, miracle upon miracles, both littles konk out at the same time (a brief period we call "mama bliss") that the most productive thing I can do is fall into bed myself--no matter the state of affairs. I have been known to leave shoes scattering the stairs, half-eaten lunch on the table, sink full of dishes and various bric-a-brac all over the house. And for me, that is a serious show of personal growth. (Self high-five!) But lately I've realized that I am my best self and the best mama to these two when I have had some sleep. Just a little bit. Whenever I can. Because when the two are crying at the same time, I can feel myself fly into panic mode and when exhaustion is at play, it's hard to see clearly through the blizzard of emotions without adding my own to the mix.
Somewhere amidst the flurry of sleepless nights, and hours spent rocking, Magdalene has gotten bigger and more wide awake. And she's started to smile--a bubbly, beautiful gummy grin that comes with a joyful little kick of her feet, a coo and a little squeal of delight. It's the kind of pure joy that simply contagious. The kind that makes this foggy, groggy stage that we are in all worth it.
You might also like:
No comments:
Post a Comment