Montreal: La Patience

Patience.

Has it ever occurred to you how much waiting we do as a society?  We wait in line, we wait on hold.  We wait at red lights, behind slow drivers.  We wait to be seated.  We wait between meals, wait for dessert.  We wait to grow up.  Wait for our favorite show.  Wait for nice weather.

We do an awful lot of waiting.  In fact, I can hardly think of a single thing we don't really have to wait for a one point or another.  Well, sometimes we don't have to wait that long, but I've been learning that anything worth having, is worth waiting for. 

I recently read about a study on a group of children.  Each child was brought into a room where there was a marshmellow.  The child was told that they were not to touch the marshmellow.  If they ate it, then it would be the only one they would get.  But if they left it alone, they would get more. The tester left the room.  Some children ate it right away and others waited.  Those who waited did something quite fascinating.  They employed a tool of distraction against themselves.  They hummed a song, played with their clothing, made up a game, etc.  They found a way to amuse themselves in order to delay gratification.  Earth shattering, I know!

Once Gabriel turned about four months I learned something about patience from him.  One day, Gabriel was frustrated.  I think he was playing with a toy that escaped.  He started to give a whimpering cry that I thought might turn into a meltdown.  But I paid no attention.  Suddenly he employed a strategy to distract himself.  He razzed his lips and then pulled a toe up to his mouth to gnaw on.  And it wasn't a coincidence.  It has since been repeated.  What I learned from my son is the beautiful technique of self-distraction.  Or maybe it's not even that.  Maybe it is about enjoying the simple pleasures of salty toes, the creative effort required contort his body, the crinkle of paper, the wag of a tail, the wet mushiness of food.

After a beautiful weekend with Jordan in Montreal walking around with the dog, sipping lattes at the market and visiting the Jardin Botanique Montreal, I sit here sullenly on a rainy day in Montreal, with Gabriel and Abe asleep and Jordan having just flown off to Washington. And I wait.  Anxious to get to WDC.  Excited to be living together after three, maybe even four years now, apart.  And yet unable to apartment hunt, book tickets or anything else useful.  While I wait, I cannot razz my lips or stick my toe in my mouth like Gabriel, so I try to be patient.  Fortunately I have good family to visit with, a beautiful city to explore and a child and dog to take care of.  And a camera.  To capture the simple pleasures.

**As an additional note, Abe awaits vaccination and then we will take a short flight to DC a week or so later, provided he makes it through the necessary vaccination process.  So far his eye condition has stabilized with medication, as reported to us today.  But we are unwilling to risk vaccination and two long flights to Squamish and then to DC.