It seems like these days I've been running around in a frenzy, racing time with an endless list in hand. I've gotten absorbed in all the stresses of our lives these days--and who wouldn't?! A distant memory are the days, it seems, when we would meander down a path without intention, without a time frame, without a sense of urgency.
Lately, amidst packing, dealing with minor crises (more on that later), cleaning for showings, visiting with friends to say good-bye, dog walks and doctors appointments, we have stopped stopping. I've become irritated with myself--my lack of time for anything, my constant obsessive connection to my iPhone or laptop, my short temper. I have so little patience for the dog howling, food being thrown, diaper tantrums, and my own inadequacies.
I miss pausing. Savoring.
Today, Gabriel and I hopped on the bike, (it was the 4th time he'd asked today--it's a new word) and biked over to the Nest Restaurant by our house. I put my phone away and I focused on Gabriel, just him and nothing else. I'm pretty sure it's the first time in a little while since I've done this--focused and sustained. How does this happen?!?! And we played cars and made playdoh mountains. We ordered a salad. We ordered handmade cannelloni. And we talked. We made empathetic eating sighs. We savored textures and tastes and colours. We ate with forks. And not one piece of food hit the ground. Not. One. And we shared a spinach salad and by that I mean Gabriel actually ate half the spinach. And because everything went so well, we ordered dessert. And I didn't look at the time or my phone. I didn't visit and chat with anyone else. I did nothing else but be in the moment and enjoyed every minute. And so did he. I could tell.
I think we'll make this a ritual. A "date" with my boy. Smelling the roses.
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